She/Her

captureMy profiles in social media all have one thing in common, “she/her” is designated at the end. It’s not there as a reminder to myself, I’ve been alive for 48 years and never needed reminding that I am a woman, even when I had to hide that facet of who I am. It’s also not there to remind others of what pronouns to call me. If you are following me or responding to me, you will use the pronoun that most obviously fits me or use a pronoun you believe will get a response. If you are correct, life goes on and nothing changes. If you use the incorrect pronouns, I will correct you and life goes on and nothing changes. If you continue to use the wrong pronouns, well you will be blocked or likely at the least get a nasty remark from me. But it’s purpose in my profiles is not to instruct or to inform anyone of who I am. The purpose of “she/her” is to let others know that I am and that I support transgender people. I don’t imagine I can understand every trans person’s troubles or lives, everyone is different, and we are no exception.  It lets other transgender people know that I, at the very least can commiserate, that support can be expected.

I don’t like being transgender, it is just a part of being me, I also don’t like my hair. I am a woman, but I do have descriptors, “trans woman” “white woman” “old woman”. It’s not all that I am, it is simply a way to describe me if you don’t know me. I don’t fear descriptors if they are used in the proper context, it helps me find the “orange door” or the “two-story house” or even the “old white trans woman”. It doesn’t, for me, diminish my womanhood or my humanity. Others may feel differently about this, I’m sure I don’t want to always be referred to as “trans woman”, when simply “woman” would do. I’m not ashamed of my descriptors, I’m not embarrassed by who I am. I am embarrassed by the way people can treat others, those they consider different from them. I am embarrassed by the capacity for bigotry and hate in others, when as humans we have such great depths of emotion we could plumb. Hate is so easy, it is a surface emotion and it is trivial and based only in ignorance. When you invite understanding, hate has no foothold, there is no purchase upon your soul. I am embarrassed by those who find themselves sitting upon a throne built of hate and ignorance.

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