My wife went to visit her mothers, and she took most of the children with her. Martin went to stay at a friends, so I had all of last night alone. I did the full thing, hair, makeup (most of it, I am still waiting for eyeshadow I ordered to come in) a nice dress that came in that day. I am trying to find boots that fit me, but I know that my wifes boots are just a little too small, so if I can find I think a size 12, I can make it work. I did my usual things, took the dog for a walk and checked mail. I watched supernatural and checked my email. I have to say, it was kind of nice just being alone for a bit. The house feels crowded now, so this was a nice change.
I sat outside on the porch, it was cold but I got to watch people go by, dressed as I wanted. And a cup of hot tea makes everything better. I have found that there is nothing quite as satisfying as leaving a bit of lip tint on a cup.
I keep telling myself that I am going to let the children know. I want to do it, but I also want them to understand that this isn’t about a guy crossdressing, this is about a girl who is in a guys body. I think that focusing on the clothes is what is going to happen, instead of understanding who I am. This and I want to be in better shape, more shapely shape. I figure the more womanly I can present, the easier it will be to understand? I don’t know. It’s hard to explain to a little girl that finally has a dad, that her father is actually a woman in disguise. Again, I feel like she will think I was tricking her, or worse that I am trying to fool her now.