All the small things

So, yesterday I got my first dress from Amazon. I should say my first dress that I have bought directly. All my life I have worn hand me down clothes. Girlfriends or my first wife, if they had old clothes they wanted to send to goodwill or salvation army, I would go through them and rescue a few items. I had to be careful, I didn’t want to get caught mostly because I never trusted anyone to know about me. So, a skirt here, a blouse there and I was able to maintain a very small and easily disposable wardrobe. If I had to move or if I had a change in living arrangements I could throw it all away and not feel like I just spent that money for nothing.

It was very very hard during my time in the military. I kept a separate area that was used by whatever woman I was dating at the time. More often than not, it was just where I kept clothes I had liberated from the donation pile, and I could explain it as I thought they had wanted to keep that item, if I had gotten caught with it in the closet.

But this is different, I bought this dress, it fits and I feel good wearing it. I also don’t feel bad for “liberating” clothes or wearing something from a girlfriends/wives closet. I keep it in my closet, and I have another dress coming in a week or so. I still keep them to the back of the closet, which is apropos to my situation. I would love to find some heels to wear with them, I don’t normally care much about shoes, I like to be comfortable. But with these dresses, I can see that heels would be nice.

Anyway, I have my first legitimate dress, after just being so used to wearing what I could get away with without being caught. It’s nice, I’m pretty happy about it. I really like not feeling guilty at all, not one little bit.

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