Married!

So we were married yesterday! We had a great time with family and friends, and the ceremony was touching and sweet. My parents will be going home tomorrow evening or Tuesday, I will miss them.
Of course, I wasn’t happy about “man” and wife, but who ever is that is transgender. I had to just deal with it, it’s my issue not anyone else’s since I haven’t come out to everyone. I can be annoyed with it, but I can’t blame anyone but myself for that. I wore uncomfortable (more so than just being dress clothes) clothes and wear a mans ring, again myself to blame. All the little things I’m complaining about now pale in comparison to my happiness at finally being married to my wonderful wife.

A day in the life of the closeted transgender, is knowing that every picture with your beautiful wife is going to show the guy you aren’t as well. little daggers in the heart.

When I was a preteen, I used to wonder if the doctor who delivered me made a mistake. He should have (somehow) known that this was a girl and not a boy and taken the correct steps, informed my parents and done the necessary things to make sure I was a girl in body as well. Things are always so much easier in my head.

So I am married, I am me and her. I am me, I am this me and I don’t have another me. I have to deal with me being me. I hate looking at photos of me, I don’t want to deal with me.

Bittersweet. Sorry, I should only be happy right now, it sounds like I am trying for a pity party. I am not, I’m sad over an existing condition, but happy about my current status as a partner of a wonderful woman.

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